My biggest issue is regarding the diaspora and truth, thus the title of the post (hehehe, I do try once in a while to have a title that matches the content). Back to the issue at hand. Diaspora and the lies we tend to feed our families instead of telling them the truth. It doesn’t matter what you tell your friends, it’s what you tell your family that matters, and from my point of view your family requires to hear the truth about the kind of life you live here.
If you visit most diaspora forums, you’ll always read stories of people complaining about the relatives and sibling who think money grows on trees in your German car, as they keep asking for more money for the most useless stuff and keep increasing the cost of the basics. Well, I blame you, yes you the diasporan for this issue.
When your family thinks you live in one of Palasts in Germany; own a private Chateaux in France and a fleet of lamborghinis and porsches; it’s no wonder your sister wants you to finance the helicopter meant to pick her up during her wedding. Why not? You own all that, you can share the private jet with your sister can’t you?
Many of us create burdens where there should be none. Did you come to Germany as an au pair then stuff went the wrong way and you ended up underground? Did you come here to study but became overwhelmed and instead decided to quit? Are you a student, au pair, FSJerIn with little to no money to spare even for your own luxury? Did you end up in a heim, as an asylum seeker? All these things happen, and that’s just a passing season in your life but let your parents and siblings know about it so that they don’t end up demanding for stuff you can’t even dream of let alone afford.
You don’t need to tell friends, they might judge you and make you feel even worse, but tell your parents atleast. Your parents have no choice, they are stuck with you regardless of what choices you make…..be real with them.
This will also apply to your feelings about your traditions and culture. Do you think it’s backward that they insist they bury you in Kenya/Africa? Tell them now that you are still healthy and dialogue with them so that you can come to a compromise. I know Africans are generally afraid of talking about anything pertaining to death. Remember when Shikuku dug his grave? Everyone called it an abomination. I remember one of my aunts went for a photoshoot and when she brought the pics home, we all liked them but when she told my Grandma that she wanted one of the pictures she had had framed to be used for her funeral incase she passed away…..my grandma didn’t like that picture at all after that. She didn’t even consider it funny when my aunt said that, she actually wanted to beat her…lol…. (my cucu is from Nyeri…need I say more). But then again, Shikuku lived another 15yrs or more since he dug his grave, and my aunt who did the photoshoot for a funeral pic, is still alive. In short, talking about death won’t kill you.
Your assets will also determine whether or not you can fulfil some of these wishes that you set. I’m insisting especially on death because this is an issue that continues to occur in our society and everybody acts shocked when it happens. The only guarantee in life after birth is death.
Transporting your body back home is costly, and it’s a luxury that most of us in the diaspora can’t afford. Truth is when you die, there’s very little your family can do with your body other than bury it. Why spend €4000 that you do not have to send your corpse back home then an extra €1000 to facilitate a burial then the kids you leave behind have no school fees? Who will fend for the kids you left behind? We have to start thinking about the future and not just today.
Some of us since we came to the diaspora we became pathological liars, we can’t even differentiate between telling the truth and lying anymore. You know very well, you own nothing other than the clothes on your back, so why call your father in Kenya to tell him about the many mansions and bank accounts you have? The reason people back home will continue to demand that people in diaspora be brought back home when we can barely afford it, is because we never told our families that we were poor in the first place. You can post pictures of yourself in the most expensive cars and homes in Europe on your facebook and share stories about all your travelling and the designer outfits you buy. Impress your friends and leave them salivating on social media wishing they were you, but tell your parents the truth.
Of course some of us don’t want our families to worry about us, and I do understand that fact but make sure the vital info is shared. You are an asylum seeker and can’t go home, let your mother know that’s the reason you’re missing her Kamweretho, and don’t start creating stories about how your million Euro company needs you in Paris. Those lies sound good, but when you die and your family is demanding they come to Germany and inherit your property and bank accounts, they won’t be pleased to know that you had nothing other than what you were wearing when you were taken home.
The point of this whole post is simply….. tell your parents the truth…..it will save everyone a lot of heart ache, trying to explain to family that someone’s body can’t be transported because there’s no money is hard. How do you tell someone’s father that you can’t raise €4000 to take the corpse home, when the son has millions in the bank? How do you explain why you won’t get the 4k from the son’s account? How do you explain there was no account???
Tafakari hayo the next time you pick your phone to call your mum and dad to tell them how Angela Merkel is your buddy and you took her out……