Mitfahr victim speaks out 2yrs after the incident

I featured a story a while ago about the Mitfahr incident (check here), so the lady read the post and contacted me and she agreed to share her side of the story.

I came to Germany in 2010 as an au pair, I was still new here and my German wasn’t all that good but the excitement of being in Europe was sufficient at the time. I would attend many Kenyan parties where I got to meet many Kenyans. I met a lady with whom we became good friends and she invited me over to her place in Mannheim for the weekend. Getting a chance to visit different cities in Germany was very exciting.

After our time together, I told the lady I had to leave and go back to my host family. She was very friendly and agreed to get a Mitfahr to take me home. She called someone to come and pick me up, who I assumed was the Mitfahr guy. I had seen this guy severally at different Kenyan parties before but I didn’t think anything about it when I saw him get out of the car. They conversed as friends, so I had nothing to worry about. I bid my friend farewell and off we went.
Along the way, we stopped and picked up another guy. I had seen this guy as well at the Kenyan party. These two guys were known in the Kenyan circles as they loved to attend Kenyan parties in this area. You all know what happened next.
When I got home, I took a shower to clean myself of the filth and washed all my clothes. I didn’t tell my guest family anything but after 2days, the guest mother noticed the change in my behaviour and asked me what was wrong. I told her what happened and she called the police. The only evidence that I might have been attacked were a few scratches I had on my back but considering it had already been 2 days since the incident and I had already washed my clothes, no DNA or fingerprints could be found of the criminals.

I expected understanding and even consolation, none of which I ever got from them. Abuse is demeaning and hurting and to imagine being abused in a foreign country, it was hurtful. From then on the guest mother became very hostile. She forced me to take ARVs to prevent from infecting her daughter with diseases, I agreed but at some point I was fed up and I confronted her, she slapped me and I left her house that same night at 2am.

The family took me to the police to report the incident, I gave my side of the story in English as my German wasn’t the best, and the police got an Ethiopian lady to translate. She was very friendly and helped make my statements as clear as possible to the police. When the police called the friend I had visited in Mannheim, she denied everything, she even denied knowing who I was. The police couldn’t understand how I had arranged for the Mitfahr with my limited German, and when the friend denied any involvement, they couldn’t believe my story.
I was afraid, I didn’t know how to tell the whole truth, to say I had known the guys. Already my story sounded fishy, what would happen if I told them on top of it that I also knew the guys who had done this to me? I had gone willingly hadn’t I? So how was I to say, I know the criminals, I went with them willingly but I was victimized??? I didn’t think they’d believe my story, so I remained silent and swallowed my truth. The police searched and tried to patch up the story but with the half truths they had and the little to no evidence, the case was dropped.
I was 21, victimized and left out cold on the streets of a foreign country whose language I could hardly comprehend. I couldn’t even call on my fellow countrymen or women; one of our very own was the reason why this had happened to me. I later came to find out the friend I had visited had been the mastermind behind the whole incident.
I saw hell on earth in 2010. I was living in a church and I had lost hope in life but God was there for me otherwise I could have been long dead. I could not believe a fellow Kenyan was the reason for what happened she is the one who called the man and this guy picked me up on her door step. I didn’t know what was awaiting me. Now I’m trying to live life like a normal person, I stopped going to Kenyan or African parties I decided to lay low and it helped.
2012 it has been 2yrs since the incident. I have forgiven them but I never go to Kenyan parties anymore. I’m never sure who I’ll meet and what they can do to me. I’m expecting my first child later on this year, and I’ll be getting married soon to the man of my dreams. A man I met during this very trying time and who has been with me through it all. It’s been tough, but now my life has turned around.
Be careful who you trust, I would never wish what happened to me on anyone. Don’t trust people merely because you’re from the same country not all of them have your best interest at heart.
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